Golfer: "Any suggestions on how I can cut about ten strokes off my score?"
Caddie: "Yes, quit on seven."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course."
Caddie: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "What can I do to prevent topping the ball when I swing?"
Caddie: "Try turning it updside down!"
Golfer: "I want you to know that this is not the game I usually play."
Caddie: "I should hope not sir, but tell me, what game do you usually play?"
Golfer: "This course is so expensive this round cost me more than my entire bag of clubs!"
Caddie: "What a coincidence, I shop at DIVOT too!"