RAZR > Razor
Having majored in English and creative writing in college, I am easily annoyed by poor grammar, misspellings and improper use of punctuation. One of the most irritating examples is the use of a possessive apostrophe to indicate plurality.
Next time you’re in a record store check out the compilation section. I guarantee that you will find “best of” collections for each decade of the past 100 years, and in each case an apostrophe will be used: “Best of the 1970’s”; “Classic Blues from the 1950’s”; “Underwater Basket Weaving to the Sounds of the 90’s.” What these musical collections are communicating to potential buyers is that these years owned something. I assure you that they did not.
In some cases, these errors are made intentionally. Depending on the purpose of intentionally abusing the English language, my degree of condemnation varies.
At the higher end of the exasperation scale are people with vanity license plates who unnecessarily spell things incorrectly. Recently I saw a vanity plate reading, “GR8SofGOD.” Now clearly, the God-fearing driver intended the message to read “Grace of God.” With a little bit of luck this message could assist in converting potential dirt-worshipping heathens to a life of charity and love. I commend this individual for having a strong spiritual side, but I admonish her for her understanding of language. There is no “t” in the word “grace,” ma’am. Therefore, the inclusion of the letter 8 is not only unnecessary, but very much imprudent.
On the other end of the scale, the intentional misspelling of some things works. These are instances where the mistake is so obvious there is no doubt that it was done purposefully. This is the case for the Callaway RAZR X Black Ti driver.
Furthermore, adding an “x” to something almost always means better. After all, who would Malcolm be without this addition? American History would just be a dreaded class in high school without it. And where on Earth would treasure hunters start digging without this important letter?
At $89.99, the RAZR X Black Ti drivers are a steal. If I had a license plate to say so it would probably be something like GR8DEEL. And hopefully someone would question why I didn’t just spell “deal” correctly. And hopefully their method of questioning me would be to repeatedly drive into the back of my car until I realized and admitted my ignorance.